My strength

(This photo is from 2016 , the last episode of the Bell Palsy, right side of my face was numb)

In 2009, I began to feel numbness on the right side of my face and since I had never experienced it before I wasn't sure of what to make of it. I was conscious of the changes in my face, however because it wasn't visible or extreme I didn't act on it until one particular day.

I clearly remember this day; I came back from school (during year 9) and told my mother about what was happening to me. She wasn't sure if I knew what I was saying however I persisted and told her that half of my face feels numb and I wasn't able to lift the right side of my face.
I needed someone else to see what I saw, so I turned to my sister and asked her if she was
witnessing what I was seeing on my face. Once she carefully observed, she saw that half my
face was going numb. This got the attention of my mother and she took notice of it, so we went to
the hospital.

The whole experience was new to me if I am honest. I hadn't experienced anything like it before so I was wondering what had happened, nonetheless I never in my imagination thought I would die or be sick unto death. I couldn't imagine this happening to me. As young as I can remember, I always envisioned for myself that no matter what happened to me in my life, I wouldn't be in a position unto death. I saw a different picture for my life. So, even at the tender age of 14, I had the best thoughts for myself. 

The doctors diagnosed me with Bell's Palsy after my first visit to the hospital. Having been told

that I was too young to have Bell's Palsy, the doctors couldn't understand why I had it. So they

began to test my blood etc, but found nothing. If you aren't aware of what Bell's Palsy is , it is a condition in which the muscles on one side of your face become weak or paralysed. It affects only one side of the face at a time, causing it to droop or become stiff on that side. It’s caused by some kind of trauma to the seventh cranial nerve. This is also called the “facial nerve.”

Doctors are amazing, however sometimes the body alarms you first of certain things going on.

I used to have severe panic attacks. It would occur during exam seasons mostly. During the

night when I wanted to rest, I would wake up in the night panting heavily, as though I couldn't

breathe. I was entering in year 9 when the panic attacks began. I would feel a tightening from

the back of my head to the back neck and back of my shoulders. The tightening moved

down to my back bone. However as I was 14 I didn't know what my body was going through or how to take care of my mind.

I was suffering from severe anxiety and stress. I didn't know what to do with myself. I do also

recall at these times that I got an ear infection as well. bell Palsy can also be triggered by viral

infections. There was just a lot going on with me.

However I got a treatment, using steroids and this made the symptoms go away for some time

(It went away within a couple of few weeks).

During the year of 2009 was when the first episode took place.

Then during my GCSE during 2010/11 period I experienced it again. The stress and anxiety did not get any better, and I had ear infections more frequently. This time I wasn't sure of how long this

episode lasted for, however the tightness only got worse. I did however receive treatment, using

the steroids again. 

I wasn't sure to pray to receive healing at this time of my life as I didn't know God the way I do now. I do however remember being prayed for at church. If I had known what I know now , I wouldn't have allowed these episodes of bell Palsy to continue. I went through Alevel without any episode until the beginning of my second year at university. I don't think I spoke to anyone except my parents about what I was going through. I remember telling my dad how heavy I felt during my first year at university and the stress of my exams upon my shoulders. I was trying to coordinate a fellowship as well. Although my dad gave me really good advice, I felt heavy. My shoulders began to get so heavy and the muscles had never felt so tight. I really didn't know the Lord like I do know, I never knew the Holy Spirit. I never knew he didn't want me to have bell palsy. My smile was his smile , so when my face went numb I wasn't smiling as much anymore and it made me incredibly sad. I would cry because my joy was being robbed. The scriptures say the joy of the lord is your strength. This is the truth. I found out that my joy comes from him , I smile because of him.

The day I overcame Bell Palsy in 2016/17. I was lying on my bed in the night, I remember noticing a change in the pitch in my ear and within seconds half my face went numb. I stood up immediately and went to the mirror and tried to move my face but it went numb. At this point, before this occurred I never felt such tightness in my muscles. I could feel so much tension in my body. My body was not at rest , I had no idea why I was so incredibly tense.

I was so angry. I clenched my teeth , I had enough! I didn't understand this nonsense. I

remember saying to myself however that I am not moved. I didn't go to the hospital immediately

because this thing had no choice (authority or power) over me. I went to church and refused to allow it to make me down. 

A couple of days later I went to the GP later on, and now the GP who observed me was really concerned. She asked me for my age , I told her 19 and she couldn't understand why these episodes had occurred 3 times now. At her concern she sent me to hospital to go and have some tests done. So I had an MRI scan and some blood tests too. I really wasn't moved , I knew they wouldn't find anything, because I honestly believed nothing was wrong with me. I had this theory in my mind - "whatever comes at you is small. Big things that happen are really just small things." I had a choice to make this thing big in my life or the choice to make it small in my life.

So after the scans and test , of course they found nothing. All my blood vessels were intact

when they did the scan, no bleeding or swelling was found on my brain. So in terms of my brain and blood, I was fine.

I was discharged out of the hospital, and with the remarks of the doctors 'there was nothing

much they could do for me' , and I was on steroids again at this point at which point i had come to completing the course of the medication and the numbness was still there. 

So I began to apply another medicine called God's word. During this era of my life , I believe I started to understand things more and how faith works. God's word is a sharp tool. I would lay my hands on my face and speak to it, I did this for a couple of weeks , maybe 6 weeks. I even still speak to my face and my entire body with the word of God. 

I am never ashamed to use the word or share what the word has given to me. There's no infirmity that should bring shame. The body of Jesus was broken for us and his blood shed , therefore it shouldn't be eaten unworthily. This means I cannot eat and drink of him and still have shame. Shame is not of God. I spoke to myself regularly laying hands on my body, slowly I began to have sensation in my eye lid , then eyebrow ,then my right ear then finally I could close my mouth somehow. And the most important gift God gave me came back on my face again, my smile.

I never knew how much my smile glorified my face until the time I spent not smiling. I regularly

practiced smiling till everything began to function properly as intended.

I have also learnt to take care of my body by not allowing stress and anxiety into my heart because it affects the functioning of my body. I think I will talk more about this part in my next blog. I don't suffer from panic attacks they way I used to before. If I allow any anxious thoughts to go through my heart , the peace of God quickly overwhelms me and I forget the thought as if it never existed.

If you have read thus far, thank you for reading.

God bless you.

Love, Elikem

Comment and subscribe